A Womans Heart

A Woman’s Heart…
Soft, patient, trusting and forgiving
So easy to break
Yet stronger than the toughest steel

If she loves you she’ll follow you
to the ends of the world
She’ll jump headlong into the deepest sea
to save you
And she’ll hold you together
when life cuts your life into bits

She gave life to you,
and she’ll give up her life just to be with you
because she see’s the best in you,
even though few there are that treasure her
And fewer still that can equal her grace

But she thrives,
even through the toughest of days and worse nights
when her life is but a shadow.
In her heart there is always hope
And through her the world shines,
and survives one more day

A better gift there is none
Than the wonder that is a woman’s love
It heals all that is touches,
Forever flowing from the eternal spring
That is a woman’s heart.

The Battle of the Ego-Mind over Heart

Now if you are going to win the battle of the ego over the heart
You have to do only one thing.
You have to make the heart rule the mind.

Never let the mind tell the heart what to do.
The mind is never satisfied, it will always look for something new to conquer.
It is always running, thinking, every minute, morning, noon, and night.
But the heart is never in ‘need’ of anything, and it never tires of loving.

When you are caught in the desires of the mind,
You will scheme and search for the next best thing all night,
And you never wake up, all your life.

Yet all you will ever need is always right there with you,
Every day, every moment,
In your heart

Not who, but What Am I?

I seek not the who, for that I already know
A man, old but older I would be,
Not too witty else I would have been wealthier
Vain, yes, but not so foolish as to not know my place,
And when to keep my lips tight, lest I speak my own doom

A mere man is what I am,
Hardly wise enough in the ways of the world, or of women
But not too lost in it to find my way home, or to know that
A man who speaks his truth & stands by his word,
Though treasured by many, has more than one knife aimed at his back.

I seek the what,
For that which I thought I was, I find I am not
And what I once stood for, and even fought for,
Has brought me as much grief as joy,
For little was the wisdom of youth

What Am I?
Am I any more than my mother’s son
Simple flesh, with ego and appetite, and nothing more?
Or just a loyal servant to the King
And a faithful toy for my lover?

What Am I?
A spring for those I sired to drink their fill from
As they grow wings and flee to the world,
Leaving me spent and dry?

What Am I?
A mind that wonders where I dare not go
A body that feeds yet is never fully satiated
A soul that learns and prepares a new lesson for the morrow?

Am I something more than just this role I play today
Something grand, existing beyond time and space
Even perhaps, eternal, as holy and perfect as can be?

Could I be God
Moving from knowing to experiencing what it is to be God?
Playing a game whose rules I create daily,
Where all the all players, seeming winners and losers
Are just one big team enjoying a dance called Life?

Or perhaps the only thing I need to know
To understand and to experience
Is that I AM every thought I think
And everything I say.
Nothing more, nothing less.

Overcoming Negative Thoughts & Habits: My 1-2-3 Steps

Rather than try to control my energy, thoughts and sometimes even actions, what I have (and still am) learnt to do is to become aware of it.

So, first, I become aware of this part of me that was not very happy.

I explored my mind and found that I was not happy when, say, I’m allow myself to get angry, or when I think negative thoughts and find myself feeling low. Or anxious.

I then explored my heart and found that I had a lot of fear… a lot of things or decisions were based on fear.. fear of failure, fear of punishment, fear of falling out of favor, fear of not being loved, fear of losing this or that..

And again, I found that this kind of living did not make me happy.

So I looked deeper into my life, this time not using my mind, but my heart, using feelings and asking for the spirit of discernment, and found that I has immense joy when I was not worrying about tomorrow, that I had immense love which I was not letting out, and that I was very capable of living a much better life.

And I noticed that my habits, of say negative thinking which were a plague in my mind, we all emanating from mind, not from my heart. My heart was free, flying high and gay, until some thoughts interrupted my joy, and peace.

And so I decided to sit back and watch my mind, and not judge it but try to understand it..
Why do I think what I think?
Why do I say what I say?
Why do I do what I do?

This has been an education, a daily pilgrimage to the source of what my life is today. In this journey I have learnt much about myself, discovered that I had a lot that I felt I did not want to be mine, and more that I thought was only in ‘other’s but, alas, it was first and foremost, in me. And I discovered also that if I focused my heart on any of those spots that did not make me happy, my heart, not my mind, I was able to slowly commute them, transform them and therefore me, into a happier, lighter, less serious, more loving and more forgiving version of a better me.

I saw ego, and what it was causing me to think, say and do. My ego, not anyone else’s. and I learnt that to face it I needed to adopt, as far as I could (and I got a little bit better each day) no judgment, no condemnation about who I was, but to just keep looking, keep feeling and understanding, and allowing it, me ego, to be there until it is no longer needed. Until I no longer need it.

I also begun to slowly understand others, how they interact with me, how I use them to achieve my own needs, and how I can grow towards more love by improving my level of acceptance, knowledge and understanding of meeting those necessary needs in a way that appreciates, values and fulfils their own needs as well.

And it was then that I begun begin to see how I am connected.. to that which I hate or dislike or look down upon, in others, and in me.

I begin to experience that I am not alone, I am not different, I do not belong to a class or race or tribe. I belong to all, and all belongs to me. What I do to others, I do to myself, for if I create pain, I feel it too for it draws be downwards… and the joy that I create in others adds to mine as well, and draws me higher, into better, stronger, more satisfying love. Love for myself. Love for my other self, my outer self, which is the world that surrounds me.

That has been the story of my days, last few years.. and as I continue to learn how to ‘make love’ with the heart rather than the body, I find that it is an increasingly happy and blissful life that I live.

Jigger Infested Minds…

Good People,

I’ve just been listening to Prof P.L.O. eloquently challenging young minds to wake up and change..and felt inspired to share his message..

He started by reminding us that cooperatives were the back bone on which Kenya Seed Company(now Kenya growers something something…), the KICOMI’s,  Rivatex, Coast Cashew Nut company’s and others were built, and how poor leadership and corruption brought those institutions crumbling down.. he told a captivated audience how in the 70’s and 80’s diseases like TB, Bilharzia, Malaria and others had been brought under control and even eradicated but which are now sadly making a comeback and are killing Kenyans and Africans by the millions yet the very same diseases have all but been conquered in the west.

He disregarded the Kazi Kwa Vijana program (with respect but without any apology to the PS in charge of youth who was comfortably nestled in his front row seat) stating clearly that the program was just a ploy to whitewash the ills of poor leadership off the minds of the youths, as the project has seen the disappearance of Ksh 3 Billion which would have done much more good had it been otherwise invested in areas such as agriculture, food, health and housing, in projects that are visible and that could now be accounted for. Now we live in a country where liter for liter, clean water is more expensive than petrol! How then can we expect someone living on less than a dollar a day to drink 8 glasses of water as advised?

He asked the youth to take up their role in leadership, decrying the fact that a majority of African leaders are old, over 65, and most are well past their “Sell By” date, yet we in Africa sit and admire Obama in the US, Cameroon in UK.. when will hit our youth that this is their time, and that leadership wont’ be given to them on a plate? And to those who want to run from their country to live in the west, who are applying for green cards so that they can go learn how to flip hamburgers in restaurants or to work in the Wall mart’s of the west, he asked that they rethink what they can do here for Africa is where all the investors are turning too, for they know it is the new frontier.

He stressed very strongly that the problem with Africa youth is that they have let their minds go wool gathering… everywhere we look at young people in Kenya, all they are engaged in is a fixation with the west- when there is a wedding in the UK they are all glued to the TV.. when there is a football game in England they are all glued to the TV, watching Man U playing Arsenal, not forgetting those others  equally glued to a cheap soap called La Tomenta (his words exactly) while Africa waits for them to make a mark.. others have noticed this, the Chinese, the Indians, everyone else is rushing here to invest and take control of Africa’s resources as African youth sit back and admire how the west is progressing.. he stressed that unless we get rid of the jigger of the mind which is low self esteem, Africa will not change.. and we were eloquently reminded that unless we take change by the hand, change will come and take us by the throat!-Winston Churchill.

Lovely speech.. he is a great story teller!

So, the question is, would you be one of those jigger infected wool gatherer’s ? J

As you react to that.. another quote : The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living differ from the Dead- Aristotle. That one was given by the energetic and youthful CEO of CIC Insurance, Mr. Nelson Kuria, an elderly gentlemen with a very strong voice full of passion. He also has a super command of the English vocabulary (which means we were occasionally thrown off track with a word whose meaning we could only infer). He reminded the assembly that poverty, which has dehumanized Kenyans to the point where it is normal to live a downgraded life of the city slums with their flying toilets, where two classes of humanity, where the double K’s (Karen and Kibera) and double M’s (Muthaiga and Mathare) live in two different worlds, can be successfully fought through cooperative movements if only the youth would stop disabusing their minds with the notion that cooperatives are for the Old Wazee’s. He said the Old Wazee’s need to pave the way for new and younger leadership that can drive change. Success, he concluded cannot be said to have been achieved by those currently in leadership unless and until one has appointed a successor. Prof PLO improved on this by stating that one cannot be termed as having been successful until his/her successor has succeeded!

All in all, a morning well spent!

PS: Youth was defined as anyone between 18-35yrs. The rest, where some of us  “misguided” fellows are, were told to start using the term ‘youthful’ so as not to confuse policy makers.

2012:The End Race where everyone’s A WINNER!

I finally have put together an explanation about 2012, something amazing that pulls in all the theories into one.. the Mayan end (even as told in the Celestine Prophecy), the Christian rapture (mixed up with the Revelations), the various ancient religions as well as predictions such as Nostradamus…

 It’s a lovely, happy tale of humanity evolving from this 3D existence into 4 and 5D… Nothing like the drama and violence used by early prophets to convert people to their religions, but a gradual, purposeful awakening of people, groups to masses to entire regions until the very earth itself moves past this current level of existence. And what is required? Just this.. that you seek love inside you..love for self, for others, for all there is, for the world. That’s it. No religion, no God or gods or goddesses, no rituals or mantras to chant, no exercises to do, no prayers to pray, nothing. Childs play really…

 I love how the early Christians took early believes and incorporated them into the bible in a way that people of their time could understand… and the bodies shall rise “from the graves” anew.. we will be clothed with “body’s of light”, like angels, there will be a new earth, heaven shall be on earth, lions will eat grass with sheep…. All these are talking of a 5^th dimensional existence on this very world.

 And 2012 is the beginning of the major change brought about by human consciousness affecting the world…

 Now how does that rate in the simple explanations category?

Let’s make it even simpler..

 Well, suppose you ask an easy question that cannot be answered as easily, such as: in one year what do I  think needs to happen for us all to think, for example, that  LOVE is the answer considering that the middle east crises but appear to have just one year to fix it all, not to mention  global warming and its impact on life, economic & financial crises,  the apparent disintegration of common and cultural values, religious fanaticism, all that to fix by 2012 and become one unified race… breeeeeaaaath……

 Well, I would need to be oh so careful with my words not to cause fear with the answer… Did you read The Seat of The Soul by Gary Zukav? If you did, you will have read that nothing happens by chance or accident, that we are always at the best possible place by our own design (call it the design of the higher soul or self) for the purposes of learning what we came here to learn.

 Point  1. Thus, everything that happens to you and me and everyone is part of a big self designed, all inclusive lesson plan to get us to evolve individually and then as a race.

 Point  2. This is a world of free choice, perhaps the only one in many, many universes, designed specifically like that to allow souls to consciously be masters and drivers of their own evolution. The material aspect of it, the elements -air, water, fire, earth- are used by spirit to learn and evolve. And spirits/souls take up residence in various bodies to do their learning, for growth, discovery, passion, energy is most felt in this dense body, and can be best transmuted in the same.

 Point  3. It also appears that this transmutation will affect billions of universes, this being the only place where it can happen consciously (we are indeed the center of the universe) and therefore, wait for it… wait for it…  there are many, many souls currently inhabiting various life forms including human bodies, here for the ride, here to witness, here to glorify with us, here to experience this miracle that is being brought about by humanity’s love for itself.

  

Point  4. The process will involve freedom to stay and be part of the miracle, for those ready for it, or to leave if the material and so called rational mind cannot  accept it even though their higher self’s know the truth. It’s much like those who refuse to quit smoking even when facts are smoking causes cancer. Eventually they will succumb to it. The higher self does not judge, for it knows who you are, and the lessons you came here to learn, and accepts that some classes (lifetimes) have to be repeated over and over again until the lesson sinks in, and then there is graduation to the next class. In much the same way, we are all at different levels of learning.. some are still infants, yet to enter nursery school, some at primary level, some at university etc. Now, if you pull a child from class 5 and place them in class 8, only very exceptionally gifted children will make it. Same way, pull one from form 2 into university level, will they cope?

 And to finally answer that easy yet not so easy question…

At this time of graduation, there will be a mass movement by our higher selves to the highest level of our 3D material existence and through into graduation to the infant levels of 4D. It will not happen in an instant, as depicted in the horror stories of old, but gradually. It actually has already started over the past 10 + years, with unprecedented mass exodus of humans assisted by or with the use of mother earth (tsunami’s, earthquakes, diseases, drought) and mankind’s own creations (war for example). The 2012 timeline is like an official flagging off, of the race.. in every race there are people already lined up along the running track, with supplies, others to cheer & support, others just to watch from the shade of the tree, but all involved in one way or another.

 And in the race there are the forerunners, fast, fit, eager to reach the finish line, and the middle pack, pacing themselves to keep up but not too hard so as to exhaust their energy before the end, and the back pack, easy, no stress, let the ones who want to get there today do so, tomorrow will do just as well. And of course, there are many that find themselves unprepared, and they fall off, to be carried forward in the first aid vehicle or in the bus that stays at the end to ensure no one’s left behind at the end of the race.

 All of us will cross the finish line, in one way or another, either today, or tomorrow or next year.. each is allowed their pace, their time, but also, when that last bus comes, you have to get it and join the rest. No pain, no struggle other than what you want to put in, no judgment, no competition.. and there’s only one medal for all.. The GOLD Medal.

Will We Ever Learn?

I usually steer away from politics, but, oh, my brothers and sisters, this is just too hard to sit on! So here we go!

If you ask me,(I know you didn’t but.. ) the current political hullabaloo about the appointment of a CJ is nothing but a clever diversion by the principles to move our attention from the pending submission to withdraw from the ICC.

And it’s working beautifully!

Hardly anyone is paying attention to the grave likelihood that with IGAD and AU’s potential endorsement of  Kenya’s request to pull out of the ICC, we will have moved the country 100 years back. Maybe even more. All we are talking about is who is going to be the next CJ. Who cares? Like our benevolent dictator Nyayo once said, will it add to our ugali? But withdrawing Kenya from the ICC will certainly remove something from everyone’s plate. And. It’ll most likely mean that the perpetuators of the 2008 crimes will go scot free.

The same thing happened hardly 3 weeks back- the government was planning to pay billions in the Hague defense of its two saintly officers named in the Ocampo 6 list. There were angry reactions from cross sections of the country, what with thousands of IDP’s still living in squalid conditions. And what diversion was applied? That the government was going to bring down some major buildings along Mombasa road belonging to The Standard and a few others big businesses, all recently constructed buildings that cost billions, in order, or so they said, to expand that section of the highway. And here was immediate uproar all over, wittingly or unwittingly orchestrated and fueled by the media. And the issue of paying for our two sons was immediately swept aside as Kenyans wondered at how inconsiderate the government could be. I was in a meeting with some very learned professors at around that time, and was so amused to hear them eloquently describe the lack of clear thinkers and wisdom in government, drawn in and hog washed by the games in equal measure as the village idler, civil servant, matatu tout, fish monger and mama mboga on the streets. Education, it seems, is no antidote to the clever virus planted by smart tacticians in government.

Will Kenyans ever learn? Anytime I hear the government spokesman say something, I listen to the opposite which I have come to instinctively trust as the truth. It is said that people get the kind of leaders they deserve. If that is the case, the games will most certainly continue. When the people get tired of being poor and being exploited, then as we are witnessing in North Africa, the fire that will start will sweep across the nation, wiping out the inept leaders. What happens thereafter only God knows.

But I want to bet that newly reformed saviors, wolves in sheep clothing, will jump into the gaps left by departing regimes and take over with a whole new song about the power of the people, and a whole new set of games will begin. Politics, after all, is always about personal power. I believe that it is only when we stop looking for leaders among politicians that will then have the leaders we need, not deserve.